the last text


Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

This will be a very random message but I thought it was worth sending. I have been doing a lot of reflection recently and the theme that has continuously reoccurred is the capacity to love others unconditionally. It made me think about how I love myself first and foremost and then about how I loved you. I realized that I didn’t love you. As hard as that is to admit, I don’t think I realized how that must have made you feel when I said: “I love you.” And even today, with this awareness, I can’t act like it’s all been figured out, I'm struggling to really love others unconditionally. What I do want to say though is that you, of all the people that comprised my life, was the only one whom I felt exuded love way more consistently than I can count towards others without conditions. And I just want to say thank you for that. Thank you for the person that you were and the person that I’m sure you are today. And finally, I’m sorry for not realizing this all along. I’m sorry for the pain I might have caused. I would be so happy to hear that you are now in a much better place than you were with me. Thank you so much for everything. Honestly, thank you so much for everything.